Finding the Words
Wolfelt, PhD, Alan D
Finding the Words
Age Rating, Reading Level & Content Guide
How to Talk with Children and Teens about Death, Suicide, Homicide, Funerals, Cremation, and other E
by Wolfelt, PhD, Alan D
The text is written at a 4th grade reading level, the subject matter is intended for middle graders (ages 9–12), and the content has moderate intensity with some emotionally heavy themes.
We may earn a commission from these links. Bookshop.org supports independent bookstores with every purchase.
About This Book
Talking about death isn't easy, but some words can bring comfort and understanding. This book shows how honest, gentle conversations can help kids and teens make sense of loss. Learning to find the right words matters because it helps heal hearts.
Themes
Quick Assessment
This sensitive and age-appropriate guide by grief expert Dr. Alan Wolfelt offers clear methods for discussing death and loss with children aged 9-12. It provides tailored language for various ages and addresses a range of difficult topics, including suicide, homicide, and pet death, making it a valuable resource for parents, caregivers, and counselors. The book is suitable for use in diverse settings, both religious and secular.
Why we rated Finding the Words 9ME
Finding the Words is written at a Level 4-5 reading level across 146 pages. Strong independent readers around grade 5.5 can typically handle this book on their own; with parent or teacher support, Finding the Words works for readers up to grade 6.5.
We rate Finding the Words as 9ME ("Moderate — Emotional") because the content sits in the "Moderate" range — moderate conflict that may involve loss, scary scenes, or interpersonal stakes. The strongest signals come from emotional weight — these are the dimensions parents should evaluate against their reader's tolerance.
No specific content flags were raised by community reviewers, which is consistent with the moderate intensity score.
Thematically, Finding the Words explores bereavement in children, grief, children and death, loss (psychology), and family — these threads give the book room to mean different things to different readers.
Good fit for
- ✓ Children in the Ages 9-12 range — the maturity and attention span match the story's pacing.
- ✓ Patient readers who enjoy slower, character-driven stories.
- ✓ Kids drawn to stories about bereavement in children, grief, children and death.
Maybe not for
- ! Readers who get easily upset by emotional or moderately dark scenes — the conflict here is real, not just background flavor.
- ! Reluctant readers who need a fast hook — the pacing here rewards patience.
For Parents
Content Intensity
9ME — Moderate — EmotionalReal stakes and emotional weight. May include sustained danger, loss, or bullying.
Was our "Moderate" content intensity rating accurate for this book?
Reading Insights
Hook Factor
1/10A steady, thoughtful read that rewards patient readers.
Discussion Potential
3/10A lighter read — great for independent enjoyment.
Book DNA
Multi-dimensional content fingerprint
Similar Books
Based on content and theme analysis
Helping Children Cope with Grief
Alan Wolfelt
Helping Children Cope with Grief
Alan Wolfelt
Helping Children Cope with Grief
Alan D. Wolfelt
Helping Children Cope with Grief
Alan D. Wolfelt
Healing the Bereaved Child
Alan Wolfelt
Healing the Bereaved Child
Alan Wolfelt
Children and grief
J. William Worden
Children and grief
J. William Worden
Helping children cope with death
Hannelore Wass, Charles A. Corr
Helping children cope with death
Hannelore Wass, Charles A. Corr
Finding a way through when someone close has died
Pat Mood
Finding a way through when someone close has died
Pat Mood
Details
Book Length
- ISBN
- 9781617221903
- Pages
- 146
- Publisher
- Companion Press
- Published
- 2013
- Type
- Fiction